‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung at the golf course with care,
In hopes that St. Putin soon would be there;
The grown children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of schadenfreude danced in their heads;
And Melania in her ‘kerchief, and Don in his cap,
Settled down on the toilet for tweeting out crap,
When on the South Lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to protests below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it was Sessions, that dick.
More rapid than eagles the police they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, racists! now, sexists! now, klansmen and Bundys!
Hose those black people down, strip them down to their undies!
We’ll kick them all out! And we’ll build the great wall!
Now deport them! deport them! deport them all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they’re met with an obstacle, the opposition goes high,
So up to the poll booths the coursers they flew,
With heads full of steam saying “Trump, I’ll show you.”
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Auntie Maxine came with a bound.
She was dressed all in fur, from her head to her foot,
With memes that turned bigots to ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys she had flung on her back,
And she reclaimed her time, she was proud to be black.
Her eyes, they were fierce, they couldn’t be breached
His mouth spoke the words “Trump must be impeached!”
She locked arms with protesters drawn up like a bow,
The Resistance was loaded and ready to go;
They knocked on the doors and they registered voters,
They went to the polls. yes even the loners;
Republicans passed taxes with haste and with greed,
They shook, for they knew what we have up our sleeve.
We have candidates to keep coalitions intact,
We have candidates young and female and black;
As we move toward an election like a big ship’s mast head,
Deplorable’s approach it with nothing but dread;
Don’t speak a word, go straight to work,
Fill all the stockings by ousting a jerk,
Drag him out of the White House, put him out in the steeple,
Occupy Wall Street, power back to the people;
He’ll spring to his plane, to his team give a whistle,
And away they’ll all fly, like the down of a thistle.
I’ll hear us exclaim, as he’s drove out of sight,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL…
…TRUMP’S REIGN ENDS TONIGHT!